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Reality Check
By Linda Gebroe
What the heck is reality TV, anyway? A lover of pop culture and a glutton for Hollywood gossip, I took it upon myself to check it out. Not wanting to see people eat buckets full of worms or, worse, watch them be fired by Donald Trump, I decided to tune in to “Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica.”
The show chronicles the lives and marriage of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, two young white people who sing professionally, have some kind of fan following, make tons of money, shop in Beverly Hills and get their pictures in People magazine and the like.
Were Nick and Jessica’s reality like mine in any way? Were they, as individuals, anything like me? And was their marriage like mine? No way, I figured, until I read the scrolling television guide, which said about the episode I was to view: “Nick and Jessica enjoy Halloween. Also: Jessica is afraid to go to the dentist.” Hey. I enjoy Halloween, even if it is March. And I don’t like going to the dentist. Maybe I could relate to these two, after all.
At least I wanted to. Even if their lives bore little resemblance to mine, they were people, and there had to be something likeable about them. If not likeable, at least interesting. After all, they were stars and that had to count for something. I figured famous people have to be a little bit smart or distinctive in some way.
And surely, I thought, their lives would be more interesting than mine. If a TV crew were to film me, they would find me sitting at the computer or in my recliner, writing, reading, talking on the phone or watching TV. Nick and Jessica do these things, minus the reading and writing. The crew could watch me go to the dentist or clean the cat’s litter box. Nick and Jessica do these things too except, instead of a cat, they have a little dog named Daisy.
In the episode I did see, Nick drank beer and burped while watching a football game on TV. When Jessica objected to the game being on in the living room, Nick told her to go to the theater room and watch Lifetime, a.k.a. “Television for Women.”
The next day, Jessica went to the dentist and found out she needed a root canal because she didn’t take care of her teeth. Nick put out candy for Halloween, with a note that read, “Please take one.” (His spelling was perfect.) The first three kids that came took armloads of candy, leaving none for the rest of the trick-or-treaters. Nick was befuddled. Kids rang the doorbell, demanding to see famous Jessica, who was still at the dentist. Finally, she came soaring up her driveway in an enormous and shiny Mercedes and gave the children autographs. Hollywood Halloween.
Here in San Francisco, Rebecca and I hand out the Halloween candy ourselves. We don’t watch football, although we do burp on occasion. We don’t order the other into the theater room if we don’t like what she is watching. Granted, there is no theater room in our house, but we also don’t order each other around. That’s not to say there is no conflict, but when there is, we talk, sometimes in loud and angry voices, to each other or to our therapists. Or we sulk in faux martyrdom.
Rebecca and I shop, we go to movies, we eat out, we eat in, we go to appointments, we talk about how much money isn’t there in our checking account. From all outward appearances, our lives and our marriage look pretty dull.
Before watching “Newlyweds,” I thought Nick and Jessica might be a little dull, too, but certainly more captivating than Rebecca and me. I was wrong. Our lives are infinitely more interesting than theirs, I think, because there is a lot more going on inside us.
Granted, a TV crew might not be able to capture what that is. Perhaps I need to see more of “Newlyweds” to find the inner Nick and Jessica. The teaser for the next episode reads: “It’s all fun and games until someone poops on the carpet.” Let it be the dog, I pray.
Bio & Past Articles
Past Articles
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Betty's List Linda's A-Musings'
Columnist Linda Gebroe.
Linda Gebroe brings more than two decades of professional experience to her role as writer, editor, publications manager and communications consultant. Since 1987, she has owned and operated Gebroe Communications Services, a business that has helped scores of organizations communicate with a variety of audiences and markets.
As a sole practitioner, Linda has been able to do what she loves most, which is writing. Her work has been published in the San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco Magazine, and the San Jose Mercury-News, and been aired on KQED-FM, San Franciscos National Public Radio station. A lifelong baseball fan, Linda has also written for the Sporting News, and for the San Francisco Giants and Oakland Athletics magazines.
You can reach Linda at lgebroe@comcast.net. Or visit her web site: http://www.lindagebroe.com
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