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Unbelievable . . . And So It Goes

November 11, 2007

Unbelievable . . . and So It Goes . . . Or
Who Could Possibly Think Slander, Libel or Hateful Remarks Are Okay?

Unbelievable. That’s what I have to say about personal attacks. How anyone in her right mind could think that it is okay to personally attack anyone else in public and get away with it just amazes me. Call me naive, but I expect more from women in our community.

I learned about personal attacks first hand, recently, when several submissions appeared in the Women2Women section on Craig’s List. One among the posters decided to contact me directly and let me know about it. I was, in fact, grateful for that.

The anger expressed was about “the line” and “the lists” on November 1st and the criticism of our communications – some of which was warranted, I will say – but why does anyone think that beyond expressing opinions and pointing out how procedures could be better . . . how anyone could think that in addition to making points of suggestion or even constructive and appropriate critique . . . how anyone could think that it is okay to say things that are slanderous, libelous and hateful . . . how anyone could think that is okay . . . is beyond me.

I thought I had ceased to be amazed by what went on in angry e-mail messages or postings. I thought that buzz groups making inflammatory remarks, spreading slanderous or libelous statements didn’t happen . . . until I received this one: “Betty, you are the worst thing that ever happened to lesbians in the Bay Area.”

There were other offensive things said, but let’s keep the focus on the ones said specifically about me. I can’t even imagine discussing the ones that went beyond me and attacked others.

At first, I was amused. Then, I wasn’t. Outrageous statements – when their intent is humor - can, indeed, be funny. But, outrageous statements attacking individuals or LGBT community businesses, well they are just hateful and simply reek of juvenile behavior.

At least for tonight, I’m laughing, even as I shake my head. Do I think it would ever be appropriate and okay for me to say to anyone that she is the worst thing that ever happened about anything. No.

Do I think it is okay for someone to say that to me. No. I think it is hateful and quite frankly, stupid. Would I have believed that anyone would think that the Craig's List staff would or should allow such statements to remain on the website they are responsible for monitoring? No. But that very idea was also posted.

In addition to shaking my head, this did bring me a motivation to read the Craig's List Terms of Use statement. It really is there and it really does say that hateful remarks in postings are . . . well, out of compliance.

Below this blog entry is the photo from our celebration of someone to whom it has actually been said in public that she is the worst thing that ever happened . . . Well, let’s let it be known that I have had too much therapy about outrageous and inappropriate behaviors, due to a member of my own family, for the probable desired effect of the recent statements to have even a faint possibility of happening.

Too much water has flowed under the bridge . . . my bridge.

As Natalie would say, my t-shirt replies: "F.U. __ __" but I'll be darn if I would ever say her name or even include her initials. There you have it and so it goes . . .

(Betty's List Photos)